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Anna Marie. 18. Sydney, Australia.

“To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.”

Disclaimer: I do not own any photos posted here unless they have been tagged with (c) and/or have my watermark on them.
I do not promote or glamourise eating disorders, self harm, depression or any other mental illness.
CAUTION: this site may contain triggering material, please read with care.

I’m so self conscious of myself that I’ve neglected my fashion. It used to be my passion and now I critique everything 100x harsher on how it looks on my body. If I don’t have anywhere to go, I will spend the day in my pjs.

I hate how I look. My skin is horrible. My nose is too flat. My cheeks are fat. I’m fat. My waist is fat. My legs are too short. I’m too short. My thighs are huge. My calves are huge. My arms are fat. My fingers are too short.

Also my mum calls me “squishy” and “soft” now. I fucking hate it. It’s triggering as fuck. Everything is triggering.

Going batshit crazy because of how fat and ugly and stupid I look.

I’ve cooped myself up in my room for the past week because it’s uni holidays now and I’m just so sick and tired of myself.

Past photos of when I was at a lower weight make me both sad and nostalgic. It’s sad because I’ve gotten so much fatter from that point and I really wantNEED to get back to that.

"I'm still here,But it hasn't been easy, I'm sureThat you had your reasons, I'm scared Of all this emotion, For years I've been holding it down, For years I've been holding it down" (james morrison "this boy") here is a ray of the sun (i hope :D) to help guide you through the dark of today

❤️❤️ thank you so much

What the fuck Australian weather. It’s APRIL. It’s supposed to be AUTUMN. Instead it’s absolutely miserable weather and I’m wrapped up in two jumpers and two thick doonas. Winter isn’t for another two months. It’s so cold already.

I just feel so depressed and down all the time. I have absolutely no motivation to do anything.

I’m lying in my bed staring at nothing.

It’s taking everything I’ve got not to purge my lunch right now because I’m already so cold and shivery.

I’m the world’s biggest scaredy cat.

And my anxiety is just exacerbating that.

I’m so on edge all the time that little things scare me. I’m so paranoid all the time, and even my mum gently knocking on my door yesterday (even hearing her footsteps) scared me so much I knocked over my cup of water spilling it onto my laptop.

Things like shadows are a no-go. I think that a piece of black cloth hanging from the kitchen cabinet is someone’s head crouched down to kidnap/torture/rape/murder me. My clothes rack looks like a person looming over me.

I jump at the slightest things. I’m as alert as my hyperactive dog, if not more alert. I’m so scared of loud noises. I can’t stand to be around crowds of people.

hey i know things have been fucking rough lately and its always easy to hear words but not always to listen, but listen to this shit right fucking now: you are worthy of happiness, you are worthy of life, you deserve good things, and you deserve to be validated in your thoughts and feelings. also sorry i cuss like a sailor but like i mean it well hahaha <3

This made my day :D

The neighbours are having a party and they’re smoking and the smell is drifting to my house and it’s making me feel very anxious. It triggers so many bad memories. Memories that I’d wish remain forgotten.